Who Are You + Why Are You Here?
Easy enough question - or the most difficult of all? I'm here to help simplify the process of answering it.
You’ll find the word ‘purpose’ in the name of my Substack publication, in the name of my business, and probably within the text of most of the 1,100+ blogs I’ve written over the years. Yet you might still be asking, what does it actually mean?
I don’t blame you. Look up ‘purpose’ in multiple sources and you’ll find multiple definitions. Ask ten different people what purpose means to them, and you’ll likely hear ten different responses. You yourself may come up with a different definition depending on the day.
It’s probably true that the best definition of purpose for you is the one you give it, and I do encourage you to give this some thought. Having said that, I’ve been coaching and training on the topic of purpose for over twenty years now and have helped thousands of people write their own personal purpose statements, so it’s beneficial if I have a definition that guides this work, too. I do, and I’ll share it with you in just a moment.
But I’d like to start by offering an analogy that may help put purpose into perspective.
Let’s Go Hiking!
Imagine yourself at the base of a mountain or the start of a trail, about to begin a hike.
At first glance, you might think everyone’s purpose is the same. Everyone is there to hike, right? And likely to reach the top of the mountain.
But consider how you may experience the hike very differently in each of these scenarios:
You are very competitive and have been training for a trail race for the last eight months. Today is race day - first one to the top of the mountain wins.
You did this same hike earlier in the day and realized upon completion that you dropped your wallet somewhere along the way; you are now starting again in an effort to find it.
You are taking your extremely curious toddler on their first-ever nature hike.
Earlier this week, you were unceremoniously let go from your job of nineteen years, and you know that movement and fresh air tend to help you process emotions.
You’ve moved to a new state, don’t know too many people yet, and have never been on a hike before in your life. You decided to join a beginner’s hiking club, and today is its first gathering.
You have been recovering from an intensive health issue for the better part of the year, and this is the first time you’ve been on a hike - or out in nature, period - in ages.
You have developed a newfound passion for birds and are learning as much as you possibly can about them. Today you want to spot and identify at least one that you have never seen before.
Do you see how your ‘why’ for going on the hike can impact your experience, your approach, your mindset, what you hope to gain from it, and pretty much everything else?
Knowing your ‘why’ in general can offer a similar transformative experience. Only instead of the length of a hike, it can last the span of your lifetime.
With a few nuances, that is generally how I define purpose: Your why, and who you are at your core as you live out that why. Or as the title of this article suggests, your purpose helps answer the question: Who are you and why are you here?
And answers it in the best, most fulfilling, most life-serving way possible.
Keeping with our hiking analogy, purpose is different from - but definitely a companion to - vision, which might be the view you’re seeking at the top of the mountain, or a goal, which might be to summit the mountain in a certain amount of time or to spot as many different types of trees as possible. Purpose is with us all along the way, regardless of our vision, goals, or any other factors.
In life, our purpose remains constant whether we are at work, with our family, out with friends, in line at the grocery store, on a solo hike, or fulfilling any of our myriad roles and tasks. Priorities shift, goals change, roles evolve - but our purpose remains true throughout it all.
A Few Key Points
As you might guess, much of the work around purpose will depend on your own individual thoughts, beliefs, background, life experience, and so on. But there are a few points that I firmly believe apply across the board:
First, you have purpose. Even if you don’t feel clear on what it is or never go further than reading this article, know that you have a purpose that is unique to only you.
Second, you are already living your purpose. When I say this at the start of my purpose statement workshops, participants give a combination of responses - from immediate agreement, to utter disbelief, to awaiting the punchline (probably along the lines of, “If that’s the case, what are we going to talk about for the rest of this workshop?!” :-)). But just like with your values - which actually comprise an important part of your purpose - you are already operating from your purpose. Also similarly to your values, when you are clear on your purpose, you can more intentionally make decisions and take actions in favor of it, which can support your sense of fulfillment, ease, and overall alignment.
Third, no one else can tell you your purpose. I mentioned that I’ve been coaching people to write their purpose statements for decades now; in all that time, I have never told someone what their purpose is. I provide the tools, resources, exercises, and evocative questions that help them discern their purpose for themselves, but it’s not up to me - or anyone else - to tell you your purpose. That’s for you to discern.
And, contrary to popular assumption, doing so doesn’t have to be nearly as difficult, huge, or overwhelming as it might sound.
Getting Started
If you’ve thought of purpose as something only a select few get to figure out, or something that will take months/years/lifetimes to get any clarity on, I’ve got good news: With a bit of pre-work, I’ve coached one-on-one clients to uncover and write their purpose statements within just a couple of coaching sessions, and I’ve honed my purpose statement workshop down to less than a day. Which means by this time next week - or even this time tomorrow - you could have a clear, concise purpose statement!
A bit later this month, I’ll be sharing an opportunity for anyone wanting to walk through my purpose statement process, so be sure you’re subscribed if you’d like to learn more. (This will only be publicly available for a very limited time.) If you’re curious about the four major components of the purpose statement, want to see examples of statements, would appreciate a template and map to help pull everything together, and more, you will love this upcoming opportunity - stay tuned!
In the meantime, let me offer two exercises to get your wheels turning in a purposeful direction. You can complete these as journaling prompts, discuss them with a trusted friend, or reflect on them in a way that is meaningful to you.
Prompt/Exercise #1: Celebration of Triumphs
Pull out a piece of paper or open up a document and start jotting down various wins you’ve experienced. What do you consider highlight moments? What brings a smile to your face when you think about it? What goals have you set and achieved? What unexpected successes have you experienced, those wins that weren’t initially part of your plan? What moments make you feel fulfilled, proud, content, happy, or like you were in the right place at the right time?
Keep this as an open list, and continue adding to it over the course of a week (and beyond). Not only can this serve as a helpful reminder when you’re having a rough day, it will also provide valuable clues and insights into your purpose.
You can get more ideas for this exercise in this article from earlier in the year.
Prompt/Exercise #2: Your 95th Birthday Party
Close your eyes for a moment and imagine it’s your 95th birthday. People want to celebrate you! Depending on your personality, you can decide whether your 95th birthday party is an intimate gathering of close friends and family, a huge bash with everyone you know, a ‘card party’ where well-wishers mail you their sentiments, or whatever you prefer.
Imagine hearing a toast (or receiving a card) from people in a few different ‘categories’ of your life - perhaps a close family member, a friend, a coworker, a member of an organization for which you volunteer, and so on. What would you love to hear them saying about you, your life, and the difference you’ve made? How would you love for them to be celebrating you and your life so far?
And as that 95-year-old, what are you celebrating most about you and your life so far?
Like with the previous exercise, I encourage you to record your answers so you can add to them over time, and refer back to them when you need a boost!
Continuing The Hike
I hope this helps you begin considering your purpose in meaningful, affirming ways. You matter greatly, and you provide perspectives, insights, gifts, and purpose that no one else can begin to replicate. You are making a difference that only you can make, and I, for one, am thankful!
If this has deepened your curiosity and you’d like to explore your purpose further - and write your own concise statement of purpose - be sure to watch for my offering later this month. With that program, you’ll receive everything you need to write your own clear, uplifting, encompassing purpose statement.
And as the authors of How Will You Measure Your Life? declared:
“If you take the time to figure out your purpose in life, I promise you will look back on it as the most important thing you’ve ever learned.” - Christensen, Allworth, & Dillon
Thank you for being you - our world is better for it! I wish you a day, and a life, filled with meaning and purpose.
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Christi Hegstad, PhD, PCC, and self-proclaimed book nerd, is a certified coach who helps achievers work with meaning, live with purpose, and reach bold + difference-making goals. Feel free to share your questions, comments, or topic/book suggestions below or via email to readingandpurpose (at) gmail (dot) com.
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