The 3 Layers of Your Core Values
And ideas for accessing all three to support your meaningful work and purposeful life!
One of the most requested services I offer as a professional certified coach is helping people uncover and write their personal purpose statements, then engage their purpose in work, life, family, community involvement, and beyond. I’ve been doing this work for over 20 years and it is honestly one of my favorite things to do - in large part because of how eye-opening and transformative it can be to feel clear and confident in your purpose. I had the same eye-opening and transformative experience when I first wrote my own purpose statement nearly 30 years ago now, and it has informed my decisions and actions ever since.
At the risk of sounding hyperbolic, crafting this single statement - which has changed very little throughout those three decades - has truly served as one of the most grounding and life-serving actions I have ever taken. The opportunity to help thousands of others experience this throughout the years has thus been an incredible gift.
And whether my clients call the end product their purpose statement, personal mission, life guide, words to live by, or something altogether different, it all focuses around four primary components - including one that lays the foundation:
Core values.
Our core values guide our decisions, actions, and behaviors, essentially serving as our moral compass in many ways. We all have values; when we are clear on them, we can more intentionally make those decisions and take those actions in favor of them. This helps support our sense of fulfillment, purpose, and overall alignment.
I often relate values to a lighthouse. Regardless of dense fog, crashing waves, raging storms, or any other external factors, a lighthouse stays steady and true, serving as a guidepost at all times. Similarly, our values are always there for us to return to, connect with, lean on, and guide us, whatever is going on around us as well. I wrote an article on this very topic not long ago (featuring a photo of Split Rock Lighthouse - let me know if you’ve also had the pleasure of visiting there!), and I included questions you can ask yourself to begin clarifying your own core values.
Today we’ll take that a step further and explore what I consider the three different ‘layers’ of core values, as well as how you can activate them in meaningful ways. My purpose statement workbook includes a visual of this, along with many more examples and details, but for now you can simply picture three concentric circles: We’ll start with the outer layer (#3) and work our way inward to layer #1.
Speaking of the workbook, my purpose statement process (which includes said workbook) will be available for purchase during a brief time in May - the only time this year I plan to open this opportunity to the public. Be sure to subscribe and stay tuned if you’re interested!
Layer #3: Having Values
In workshops, I often share a situation I once experienced many years ago, before I knew my core values, that had me viscerally reacting. The situation involved a meeting in which I was not an active participant but rather an observer/note-taker. During the meeting, I watched as the facilitator frequently interrupted the participants, knocked down ideas before they had a chance to be fully expressed, and even sarcastically asked someone why they thought their suggestion would work when it never had in the past.
With each occurrence, I noticed my body feeling tighter: clenched fists, gritted teeth, tense muscles.
As I mentioned, I wasn’t even an active participant in the meeting, but my response was as if someone was acting against me personally. I could feel it, but I couldn't explain it.
Now that I am clear on my core values, I can look back at that situation and easily recognize that I was witnessing my values not being honored - and in some ways being downright violated - prompting my visceral reaction. One of my core values is respect, and I did not feel the facilitator was exhibiting respect in any way, shape, or form. Another of my values is growth, and by shutting down ideas and not allowing any expression or fruitful discussion, growth wasn’t being very nurtured here, either.
Whether we can clearly state them or not, we all have core values. They influence our actions, decisions, and choices on a daily basis - again, whether we realize it or not.
Layer #2: Knowing Your Values
Once we know our core values, we can more readily recognize when they are honored or violated. This also allows us to design our lives in favor of our values to the extent possible, and to address situations where those values are being dismissed.
Knowing your values involves two parts: Naming them, and defining them. We’ll get into some specific ways to do this in the Meaning + Purpose section below.
Now, when I’m faced with situations like the one I referenced earlier, knowing my values gives me a starting point. Instead of feeling a vague sense of unease, I can recognize why I feel the way I do, which brings a kind of relief - almost like the morning you wake up feeling good again after a bout with illness.
And, importantly, I can then take action in alignment with my values. In other words, I can truly live out my values.
Layer #1: Living Your Values
A coaching client of mine shared a moment of inspiration she had recently experienced. When she excitedly described it, she explained how an important decision she had made helped her realize she was not just aware of her values but was truly living them out. “I felt calmer and more centered when making the decision,” she shared. “It really made such a difference!”
I concur. Now when I find myself in a situation where I don’t feel respect is being exhibited, for instance, I still feel the tension in my body, but it is coupled with the knowing that a core value is being denied - and therefore I can take action accordingly. Depending on the situation, I may speak up, offer help, redirect the experience, remove myself from the situation, or whatever choice feels most appropriate at the time. And if I realize that I am being disrespectful, I apologize and take steps to make it right.
This layer - the center of those three concentric circles - is where it all comes together! Living your values might mean:
Designing your life and actions in favor of those values;
Communicating or taking intentional action when your values are not being honored;
Intentionally choosing to do/not do something based on how it supports or detracts from your core values;
Feeling greater confidence as a result of knowing yourself better;
Filtering life experiences - invitations, potential jobs, and more - through the lens of your values.
Meaning + Purpose + Values
If you find yourself wishing for clarity in your life, feeling more wishy-washy than you’d like, or wanting to understand your purpose more confidently, I suggest starting with your values.
Now that you’ve read through the three layers, ask yourself where you’d currently place yourself.
If layer #3 - you have values but cannot clearly name or describe them - you can begin there. Start by considering your responses to the half-dozen or so questions I posed in my earlier article. This can enhance your understanding and give you a strong starting point.
If you’d place yourself in layer #2 - you know your values but don’t know that you’re intentionally living them out - try defining them for yourself. Without the help of Google or ChatGPT, sit down with your 3-5 core values and write down what each one means to you. Some questions that can help prompt your responses:
If someone asked you to define that value, what comes to mind first?
What are some ways you have seen or experienced that value in action? In other words, how does it show up for you in real, everyday life?
What do you notice when that value is not being honored, or perhaps is being outright violated? For example, if you value honesty, and your definition of honesty includes telling the truth even when it’s hard, what do you experience when someone is lying?
Who, in your opinion, honors the value well? How can you tell?
If you needed to give three examples of the value being honored - whether real-life examples you’ve experienced or scenarios you conjure up in your mind - what would your examples include?
By defining your values clearly, for yourself, you can more easily and intentionally put them into practice.
Again, I can’t emphasize the ‘for yourself’ part enough. I’ve had numerous clients and workshop participants over the years who have identified integrity as a core value, as an example. When asked what integrity means to them, answers have ranged from ‘honoring my commitments’ to ‘showing up fully as myself’ to ‘doing the right thing even when no one is watching,’ to name just a few. Don’t let ‘society’ or AI determine what your values mean to you. Let your wise inner self be your guide.
And if you are in layer #3 - living your values - continue being intentional about tuning in to them when faced with decisions, challenges, or opportunities. I have long been fascinated by Ben Franklin’s apparent daily check-in with himself, where he purportedly made a chart of 13 different virtues, then each evening assessed how well he upheld them that day. You might consider this a bit much (and, in my experience, thirteen is too many - but to each their own!), but maybe a weekly check-in with yourself would be useful?
I’ve mentioned being intentional several times throughout this article; if you haven’t yet read my article sharing ten ways to live with greater intention shared earlier this week, you may find that helpful in this values conversation, too. You can find the article here.
Every time I write an article of this nature or coach a client in this area, I can’t help but think how fortunate we are to always be growing, learning, and evolving. Maybe today you have no clue what your core values are, but after working through some of these exercises and perhaps participating in my upcoming purpose statement offering, you may find yourself regularly consulting your values before you accept that job offer or have that significant conversation or react to the headline that comes across your social media feed.
Your values can help you respond in ways that feel authentic, aligned, and fully in sync with who you are at your core - truly one of the most centering and affirming ways to move through this world!
Where do you place yourself within these three layers of values? Would you add any other layers? What questions do you have about values? Feel free to chat below, and again, be sure to subscribe if you’d like to hear when the purpose statement process is available later this month!
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Christi Hegstad, PhD, PCC, and self-proclaimed book nerd, is a certified coach who helps achievers work with meaning, live with purpose, and reach bold + difference-making goals. Feel free to share your questions, comments, or topic/book suggestions below or via email to readingandpurpose (at) gmail (dot) com.
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