What If You Gave Yourself An 'A'?

And how would that change your approach to the second half of the year?

I’ll admit, I was heavily focused on grades as a student. Whether it was my Type A personality, my enneagram 3’ness, my perfectionist tendencies, or some combination of nature and nurture, I would always strive for the A. Not only that, if I discovered I could do extra credit and get an A+? Sign me up!

Can anyone else relate?

And the fact of the matter is, I didn’t always get the A. I was momentarily devastated every time I missed the mark, but I also realized something important about myself:

I felt better having tried, knowing I gave it my best.

That momentary disappointment of a lower grade would pass, and I’d get on with my life. It was the times when I didn’t do my best - when I gave up too soon or lost faith in myself - that left a more lingering disappointment.

As adults, we may still get ‘graded’ even if we’re no longer in school. Performance reviews, metrics on our blogs or social media accounts, proposals accepted or rejected. Sometimes the criteria for the proverbial A is clear, but often it feels like taking aim and then, just as we’re about to make our shot, dense fog arises and our target moves out of our line of sight.

Success can often feel at the whim of ever-changing requirements.

What If You Gave Yourself An ‘A’?

Years ago, I read a book that quickly landed a spot on my favorites list and has remained there ever since: The Art of Possibility by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander. While I love the entire book, one particular segment stands out for me still:

Benjamin, who conducted the Boston Philharmonic and was also teaching at a music conservatory, noticed how students would focus all their energy on the grade - so much so that they would experience anxiety, wouldn’t experiment or take risks when playing their instruments, and basically became consumed by the grade rather than the growth. He and Rosamund discussed their concerns and came up with an idea they hoped would open students up to greater possibility.

At the start of the semester, he would tell the students they would all receive an A in the course - under one condition, which he explained to them in this way:

“Sometime during the next two weeks, you must write me a letter dated next May, which begins with the words, ‘Dear Mr. Zander, I got my A because…,’ and in this letter you are to tell, in as much detail as you can, the story of what will have happened to you by next May that is in line with this extraordinary grade.” [The Art of Possibility, p. 27]

In other words, they were to place themselves several months into the future, looking back, and identify the various lessons, insights, and milestones achieved as if they had already completed them.

They were, essentially, creating their own action plan for earning the A.

Not only that, they got to discern for themselves - based on their own individual personalities, passions, goals, and purpose - what constituted an A to begin with.

What if you tried something similar?

Here’s what I suggest:

Take a look at the mid-year personal inventory I posted a few weeks ago - particularly the section that focuses on the second half of the year. Close your eyes for a moment, and place yourself on December 31, 2025. Imagine that you are receiving an A for your successful second half of the year, and ask yourself what, specifically, you did to earn that A. How did you grow? What experiences did you pursue? What did you learn, or try, or accomplish?

Open your eyes and jot down whatever came to mind. Once it feels good to you, preemptively give yourself an A.

From there, you can craft your action steps and plans.

Zander would go on to tell his students:

“‘I am especially interested in the *person* you will have become by next May. I am interested in the attitude, feelings, and worldview of that person who will have done all she wished to do or become everything he wanted to be.’ I tell them I want them to fall passionately in love with the person they are describing in their letter.” [The Art of Possibility, p. 27-28]

Imagine the difference if you approach Part 2 of 2025 with such positive, purposeful forward movement - already proud of and fully loving and supporting yourself?

If this speaks to you, I really hope you’ll give it a try. And when you encounter obstacles along the way - sort of like getting a bad grade on a quiz or project, so to speak - keep this powerful line from Zander & Zander in mind, too:

“This A is not an expectation to live up to, but a possibility to live into.”

I’m already excited for us to celebrate our A’s together here in December! :-)

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Dr. Christi Hegstad is a Professional Certified Coach (PCC) who helps you work with meaning, live with purpose, and reach bold + difference-making goals. Purpose coaching is now open with a limited number of spaces available - learn more here!